What I'm meant to do...

It had been "one of those days."  A day where you wonder why am I doing it?  Is it really worth it?  Am I really making a difference?  Am I doing what I really want to do, or am I being left behind?  Is being a mother really what I personally was meant to do?  

Of course I knew the answer to ever one of those questions was a resounding "YES!"  However, it had been a whining day all day for Emma.  To top it off, Matthew had been fussy for much of the day.  Needless to say, I was getting quite frazzled.  I was falling into one of my "I don't really care" modes.  You know, one of those times when your child whines that they want to do it and you finally throw your hands up in frustration and say, "I don't care" and let them try something you know they can't do.  Then of course you feel guilty because you know that you really do care about them and now it's going to take you saying 9 positive things to make up for you're making them feel like you don't care about them.  Then to make matters worse, you know that you are being ridiculous by having all of the aforementioned thoughts, because you are so blessed that you cannot even count all of your blessings, and you get even more bugged at yourself because of your ungratefulness.  

Okay, maybe nobody else has that same train of thought, but unfortunately that is something that happens to me.  At any rate, I was feeling rather irked at myself last night and wondering why I could not just be happy dangit!  Daniel came home and I began making dinner while he began playing with the kids.  I looked at my sweet husband holding our baby boy and playing "chase" (Emma's favorite game.) with our little girl.  I suddenly stopped and realized it was like "a picture print by Currier and Ives."  It was the perfect moment.  You know, one of those moments when you realize that "YES, it is all worth it!  This is exactly what I want!"  I felt humbled and so grateful for the opportunity that I have to be raising wonderful children with my sweet husband.  My whole attitude changed, and finally I was acting grateful for the blessings.  I don't know why it took me all day to get there, but I did finally make it, and it was wonderful to realize that Heavenly Father does care about me and what I am doing.  Hopefully in the future I can bypass the irked feelings and be grateful right at first.

Emma's school pictures came as well.  Here they are:

The theme was "When I grow up."  Emma wanted to dress as a mother, so that is what we did.  At least she is almost smiling!

Matthew is "cheesing" it!  He was smiling in most of the shots she took so it wasn't to hard to find  a good one.